Horoscopes
by manyissues101
Summary: -Sokai- But nothing else could possibly happen—right? Because karma could never hate someone that much—right? Because wishful thinking is possible—right? No, nun-uh, and noperoonies.


I don't write much Sokai, and I'm not quite sure why, but I felt the need to write this because, well, my muse told me too. Even though there really isn't much fluff.

Hehehehe…this is THE most fun thing I've EVER written…

I do not own anything that appears in this story.

Rated T for some language. I envisioned their voices a certain way and, well, it came out kind of PG-13. But nothing too bad.

0----0

Why was there ringing in my ear? I wasn't sure, but it was really annoying me. Couldn't the world leave me in peace to…

What was I doing, anyway?

Oh yeah…sleeping.

Couldn't the world leave me in peace to sleep? Did it have to bother me with…

What was the ringing?

Sounded liked…an alarm clock.

Couldn't the world leave me in peace to sleep? Did it have to bother me with annoying—alarm clocks?!

Oh boy…

I was quick to bolt out of bed upon realizing that an alarm clock upon waking symbolizes one's being late. And I was also quick to bang my head on the lamp mounted to my headboard. Why was that there again? Oh yeah, because my sister is insane…

Her name's Namine. And to Namine, everything symbolizes something. If something doesn't symbolize something then it symbolizes that certain individual who can't find the symbol is stupid. And those are her exact words—I know because that's the argument that she uses whenever I try to prove her wrong.

She decided to mount the lamps to our headboards to symbolize the sun above us when we wake, making it a bright and positive day. I think that it symbolizes the bump on my head from hitting it. But there were two lamps—one on each bed. That meant that I was going to get another bump—good lord, now I'm thinking like her.

Enter said crazy sister through bedroom door. She's bright and happy and smiley, just like always. She says that it's the presence of the 'sun' above her bed. I say that it's those happy pills that her doctor gives her. She won't call them drugs—god forbid—because drugs isn't a bright and happy and smiley word. Sometimes I wonder if she would still be bright and happy and smiley if I killed her…

"Good morning, Kairi! Isn't it a wonderful day?"

I grunt.

"Here, look, I found our horoscope in the paper!"

Namine's other big thing—horoscopes. They symbolize…well, it's a horoscope, what do you think it's supposed to symbolize? Everyday she reads our horoscope. We're twins, though I'd never admit to it out loud, so each day our destiny happens to be one in the same.

"What does the piece of soggy paper say about my life today? Wait—is it saying that I'll have coffee. Because if it does, then it's right. If it doesn't, then we shouldn't put so much faith in it because I always have coffee and the stars should know that by now."

"Fine, be that way. But I, for one, think that the stars know all. They've been around forever…and they're so magical!"

I let out a deep sigh while rummaging through a drawer for something to wear—I was still late, after all. "Namine, the stars haven't been around forever. They die, just like we do."

"Maybe physically. But, spiritually, nothing can kill a star."

I was about to explain all of the things wrong with that statement when I discovered that I had _no_ clean clothes. At all.

"Namine, save the rant for when I have time—I need to borrow some clothes," I muttered, turning to face her. She shook her head.

"You've been awfully mean this morning. I don't think I should let you borrow anything."

I gave her a pleading look. "But I'm already late for work! And I still have to make my coffee!"

"Well, maybe you should be nicer to me. Or start washing your clothes."

I sighed. This was going to be a long day… "Just give me something to wear, please, Nami!"

"Kairi, I said no."

I quickly looked from side to side and threw myself towards her closet. A shriek and a blonde whirlwind followed me. "No, Kairi!" She clutched at my leg and tried to pull me back. I was in my underwear, and her nails dug deep into my flesh.

"Ouch! Naminé let go of me!" I shrieked. She wouldn't let go until she had pulled me off of my feet and rolled over me to get to her closet, where she stood guard.

"Now you aren't getting anything!"

"But, Namine! I just need something to wear—anything!"

"No!"

I rolled across the floor, in hot pursuit of something that I knew that she kept under the bed. When I groped around underneath, I was quick to find it.

A gun.

I was going to shoot Namine.

So I loaded the ammunition with skilled fingers and aimed for her head. She let out a muffled gasp as the projectile flew through the air…

…and hit her in the forehead with a soft 'squeeeeeak'.

I had just hit Namine in the head with a bullet from her Nerf Gun. I had you going there, didn't I? You thought that I was going to shoot her with a bullet—admit it! Hahaha, I'm good…anyways, back to more pressing matters…

I knew that look of fire in her eyes. It was war now. And I was the only one armed.

Until she reached behind her and pulled a heel from her closet.

Okay, now we were both armed. Except Blondie had a very heavy, and cute—bad Kairi, now is _not_ the time—stiletto, while I had a Nerf Gun.

At this point, it was anyone's victory.

I wasn't prepared for her to let the shoe fly towards my head. And I could see the heel, so sharp and dangerous, as it embarked on its path for my left eye. But I wasn't going to let it hit its mark—I needed that eye!

So I did one of those things that could only be done in the movies—I aimed the gun and started to go trigger happy while doing a nosedive for the closet. It seemed to all happen in slow motion as I dived and the shoe flew and the shots soared…

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that great. Especially since I hit the floor, face first, the shoe hit the wall and left a nice heel-shaped hole, and all of my bullets fell short. Which left me out of breath on the floor, giving Namine the obvious advantage. So she did what any sister would do. She 'pantsed' me. Note the quotations—I wasn't wearing pants. Just my underwear. So now my ass was showing.

At least no one else was home.

"Hey, ladies."

Oh shit.

Leaning casually in the doorway was a smirking Riku, boyfriend to my sister and sex god to the female population.

…and here I was. Sprawled across the floor on my stomach, dart gun in my hand, pretty much mooning him. I squeaked and reached for the nearest clothing article to cover up with. It was an unmentionable. Take a wild guess as to what. Starts with a 't'…

Bingo.

Namine was having a howling fit. She stood and smiled at her sex god.

"Come on, Riku, let's give Kairi some privacy…"

I shot her the death glare of all death glares. And I wished that I could randomly obtain psychic powers like those big-boobed chicks in the movies. Because then I could give Ms. Insanity and Mr. Sex God what they deserved. Even though Mr. Sex God really didn't do anything.

Mental note to self: Stop calling Riku 'Mr. Sex God'.

Namine carefully shut the door. I could hear her burst into giggles and M—Riku! Riku, Riku, Riku, Riku! And I could hear Riku asking what just happened. I groaned as she began to walk him through the morning. But she mentioned the word 'late'. Who was late?

Maybe she was…maybe she was pregnant!

No…even if Riku was Mr. Sex God…darn it…Namine was far from Ms. Sex God. I cringed at the thoughts.

And my head exploded at the images.

But then I heard her say 'late' again and it brought me back to my original question.

And then I remembered. And I kicked myself. Hard.

0----0

All thoughts of going to work had been abandoned at the realization that there was no coffee.

No coffee.

NO coffee.

No COFFEE.

This was a bad, bad day. I had to have coffee—I _had_ to. So I set out for the Starbucks _twelve_ blocks away. And when I got outside I realized that I had forgot to put on pants. And I realized that my sister and M—don't do it, Kairi—Riku had failed to mention this to me.

So I hightailed my pants less butt inside and put on a pair of Namine's jeans. Now I was ready for my coffee. And fully clothed—this time I checked.

So I walked all _twelve_ blocks to the Starbucks. And the whole way there, I mumbled about how this had been the worst morning ever. Ever. In the history of forever.

But nothing else could possibly happen—right? Because karma could never hate someone that much—right? Because wishful thinking is possible—right?

No, nun-uh, and noperoonies.

I forgot my purse.

My purse—you know, that thing with my wallet in it?

My wallet—you know, that thing with my money in it?

I _almost_ gave in to the very strong urge to bash my head against the counter several thousand times. Almost.

But my brains were saved from certain devastation by a young man behind me. He had obviously heard me groaning about forgetting my money.

"Here, I'll get that." He pressed a handful of bills on the counter and the gangly, pimply, teenager handed me my coffee. I turned to thank my savior, but suddenly stopped.

Oh my GAWD

He was gorgeous. Not in a sexy, Riku way, but in a…way. He had made me so illiterate that I couldn't describe why.

"T-thanks. I'm afraid that I can't pay you back at the moment."

"Sit with me. That'll make up for it." He gave me a smile and I melted. Into a sticky, gooey, Kairi puddle.

The young man led me over to a table by the window and sat his own coffee down. He scooted the chair out for me and smiled at me.

If he didn't stop that then he'd have to call someone over here to clean me up.

"I'm Sora." He was quick with the introductions as he sat down across from me.

"Uh-huh," I was, once again, unable to speak.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah…"

"Oh! I'm Kairi. My name is Kairi!" My face turned the scarlet color of his vibrant ruby shirt.

"Oh. Well, Kairi, what brings you here all alone? I surprised that there's not a guy with you."

My hidden-compliment senses were tingling.

"Oh, no, I have no guy to be with. I'd usually come with my sister, but she's at home with her boyfriend."

"Oh, I know how that is. My best friend was supposed to meet me here, but he called and cancelled. He wanted to go hang out with his girlfriend instead. Though why Riku would choose to hang out with her over me I don't know," Sora muttered.

"Riku? Like, tall, silver hair, really muscular?"

"Yep, that's him."

"Oh wow! Mr—I mean—Riku's dating my sister!" In the middle of that sentence I once again noted my previous mental note.

Sora froze. A look of panic danced in his eyes. "Oh…you're _Naminé's_ _sister_." He said this nervously and I palmed my face. Oh geez…

"Yeah…unfortunately. Girl's a nutcase, isn't she?" I begged him not to go away with my mind. If ever I was to randomly obtain psychic powers like those big-boobed chicks in the movies, then now was the time. And, hey, maybe the boobs came with the package. I took a stealthy glance down at my nonexistent cleavage.

"Yeah, she is." I seemed to have convinced him that I wasn't crazy. But, hey, I was good at that. I've had to do that my whole life after people meet my sister.

"You should live with her. It gets worse."

He laughed a laugh that put all others to shame. "I bet. Uh, Kairi, you're squeezing that cup a little hard—"

Sound of Styrofoam coffee cup explosion

Now it was all over my hands, dripping everywhere. Curse those nails, they dug too tightly into the cup! Even though it was really his fault for wooing me…and partially mine for using the term 'wooing'…but I wasn't going to put the blame off on my pretty boy.

"Oh, Kairi, are you alright? Here, I'll go get you some napkins!"

I stood up and held out my hands. "No, no! I'll get them!"

I made a quick dash to the counter because the hot coffee was threatening to burn away my skin. But there was a problem. I was dripping coffee and it was all over the bottom of my shoes. And, just like any girl with my luck would, I slipped and went hurtling for the counter.

The counter. Remember that thing? The thing that I had the very strong urge to bash my head against thousand times earlier? Yeah. I went, head first for it, and ended up practically dashing my brains out. And I could even feel the bump rising.

—Sudden flashback—

But there were two lamps—one on each bed. That meant that I was going to get another bump—good lord, now I'm thinking like her.

—End sudden flashback—

Oh blast my stupid, Naminé-esque, mouth.

"Oh, no, Kairi—are you okay?"

Of course, Sora, the ever valiant hero, came dashing over to help me up. He pulled me to my feet. "That was quite the stunt. I give it a ten."

So he thought it was funny now, did he?

Hell, so did I.

0----0

"How was the rest of your day?"

Of course Namine was waiting for me as I walked through the door. She always was.

"It was…interesting…" Because after the coffee incident, Sora and I had gone for a walk in the park. That turned out rather nice…

"Really? Because, according to our horoscope, we were supposed to have really, really bad days. But we were also supposed to meet someone who could turn the day around. But nothing like that happened at all! Maybe these horoscopes aren't all that they're cracked up to be…"

I cracked a smile. Maybe I should let her read them to me more often…


End file.
